I’ve really been leaning into my divinity and embodying what I have come to call my Sacred Queen, and as a result, feeling inspired to share more of what may typically be triggering. And so this week, that topic is: Sexual Shame.
We live in a society that demonizes sex. That conditions us to believe that it is sin, wrong, bad, etc. This leads us to growing up believing that WE are in fact bad, dirty, wrong, sinful, etc. But sex is a part of the human experience, and a beautiful part at that -- in fact, when used properly, sex can be a tool for ascension.
So what happens to us when we deny a part of ourselves, and call ourselves bad, wrong, sinful etc.? Rebellion, anger, and SO MUCH SHAME. And if you recall, on the scale of consciousness, shame is of the absolute lowest vibration (whereas love, peace, enlightenment are highest).
When we embrace ourselves fully, including our sexuality, and even more so our SACRED sexuality, we attract and create opportunities for growth and healing. Sex with someone on your level of consciousness, who you love, who you feel safe and open with, can be a beautiful act of ascension.
Women are especially conditioned to feel shame surrounding sex. Often being labeled as “whores” or “sluts” -- while men are applauded and high-fives. News flash: shaming women does not just affect women, it affects all of us -- humanity as a whole. We are all connected. The shame keeps feeding the shame. It’s a vicious cycle.
By denying our true divine essence, we end up resenting ourselves, and as a result, creating a hyper sexual society that objectifies women.
Men need to stop shaming women, and women need to stop shaming themselves. It’s when we start to heal from that shame that we can fully see and embrace the truth of who we are and our true self.
Men, on the other hand, are shamed for experiencing emotions, and raised being told that ‘real men don’t cry', and shamed for having feelings as a child. They are constantly shut down. This drives them to unhealthy coping mechanisms that include unhealthy, wounded sexual practices -- and only knowing how to feel through sex. That’s part of why porn addiction and sex addiction are rampant in today’s society.
Mindfulness and consciousness when applied to sexuality is key to creating that space for your healing and growth. You want to honor yourself, your body and your divinity.
So how do we begin to heal this?
Ask yourself: are you engaging in sex out of love? Self love? True authentic embodiment and enjoyment?
Or is it from wounding? In search of external validation? Are you disconnected from your true Self? Engaging in sex out of boredom? Or hurt? Or trauma?
Engaging in sex from this space of lack, will only end up leaving us feeling empty or hurt, and as a result, searching for more → addiction.
Validation can only come from within.
So today, I leave you with this:
What is your intention when you have sex?
AND.
What would you do differently if you loved yourself only 10% more?
By honoring yourself, and loving yourself, you create room for growth, awareness and healing.
Sending you all love.
Love,
Cam Kashani
Award Nominated Divine Feminine Leadership Coach and Inspirational Speaker