Your truth matters. Your voice matters. Your experience matters. In a society that conditions us - especially women - to stay quiet, it is so important to speak up and own your truth.
I didn’t start speaking up for myself until my early thirties. I was afraid of conflict, of not being liked, and of not being accepted. Part of the problem was that I hadn’t done the work to get to know myself. In moments where I felt like I should speak up, I didn’t understand why I felt that way and had no words to express the feelings I didn’t understand. Instead, I would freeze. The empowered human knows and speaks their truth.
You owe it to yourself to do the work to get to know who you are. You deserve to love yourself so that you can be your own biggest cheerleader. The only person that needs to love, like, and accept you is you.
Not speaking up for yourself is a form of self-betrayal. When we don’t speak up, resentment builds within us. Outer experience is a reflection of inner reality, so when you don’t speak up on the outside, you deny a piece of yourself on the inside.
We are conditioned to believe that not speaking up is often the ‘kind’ thing. We stay quiet to preserve people’s feelings; but what about YOUR feelings? Your feelings are valid and important, and there is always a way to express your truth from love and clarity.
When did you learn that it wasn't safe to be ‘you’? Take a moment to reflect on experiences throughout your life that may have made you feel it wasn’t safe to speak up. Think about a time when you spoke your truth and were told to be quiet, or that you were wrong, or were otherwise shut down. How did that make you feel? And did those experiences shape how you own your truth today? Do you allow yourself to speak, or do you shut yourself down?
Just like how adults made you feel unworthy as a child, shutting down your truth and not allowing yourself to speak up supports an underlying sense of unworthiness. Well, guess what: You are worthy. Your truth is worthy. You are a divine creation, so remind yourself every day: You are fucking worthy!
Enough playing small and staying quiet: stand in your power and speak your truth! Tell everyone: this is who I am, and this is what I’m here for, and this is what I expect, and this is what it looks like - all with love and grace.
Your truth deserves to be heard. How other people receive you is not your responsibility as long as you show up as a conscious human being. If people have a negative reaction, or you trigger somebody: good. Triggers can help us to identify underlying wounds, so whether you know it or not, your truth could help someone else to reclaim theirs.
When was the last time you didn’t speak up for yourself and why? Get super specific, and try to identify the underlying fear that stopped you from speaking up. Maybe you were afraid of not being liked, or not being accepted - whatever it is, acknowledge that fear without judgment towards yourself. If you feel embarrassed or ashamed, that’s okay too. Be with the feelings and allow yourself to become comfortable in that truth to begin to heal.
When you are ready, go a step further and ask yourself: If you were just 10% braver, what would you have done differently?
Like I said before, I grew up never speaking my truth. When I did the inner work, I let go of the feeling of unworthiness I had lived with for so long. I identified my limiting beliefs and I reprogrammed them, unlocking the key to loving myself.
Everything you have been taught about staying quiet and keeping your opinions to yourself is a lie, and it is time to start doing the work to heal your fear. You matter, your truth matters, and you deserve to be seen and heard.